Tag Archives: PAINFUL FEELINGS

Forbidden Love

coded rendezvous

notes slipped into back pockets

furtive glances

unspoken words

nightly kisses

ignored by day

eyes flirting across the room

mouths sewn shut

grazing hands

lingering scents

fleeting moments

of affection

never anything more

this love too pure

for the poison of the world

these minds too closed off

to see two feminine silhouettes

in an embrace.

Project

I know he sees me as a project

Something broken, something damaged

That needs to be repaired so that it works again

With a psychology degree as his screwdriver

And late night conversations as his pliers

He wants to hammer me back into place

Tighten my bolts into tip top shape

He sees something in me that is worthy of redemption

call it my saving grace, but all I see are gaping holes

where love and trust should fill up the space

 

He says “I love you”

when what he really means is

“I’m going to fix you”

I just wonder if he’ll love me

Once he’s done fixing me.

 


Originally published on The Sehrish Thing, please do check out my blog. LIKE if you enjoyed reading the poem, thanks!

Crutch

I tell myself I’m that independent girl

who has her own shoulder to cry on

who doesn’t need anyone but herself,

I should be after what happened the last time

but I’m lying to myself because

sometimes I just need a crutch, someone to lean on,

when my bones are broken and

I can’t see with the blood in my eyes

but it’s hard for me to trust anyone

Last time I did,

I ended up with a mouth full of gravel,

more bloody body parts than I started off with

and a heart that was dripping tears and desperation

But when you look into my grey eyes

and you see a tempest, not forgotten hopes,

you see storm clouds that bear thunder, not the smoke that drifts away

I want to try all over again,

So let me take your hand,

don’t injure me so that I am forced to

After all

You can only break someone so many times

until they never heal again

You can only push me to the ground so many times

until I never get up again.

 


Originally published on my blog, please do go and check it out. If you enjoyed reading the poem like and please share with friends and family wherever you think appropriate.

Store Away My Smiles

I’m going to paint my walls black

Store away all my smiles

In a box labelled never to be opened

I’ll put away my summer dresses

And sell away all my good memories

I can’t be happy again, I won’t be happy again

knowing that your face will never turn up in a smile

I’m too scared that my happiness

Will erase the picture of you in my mind

And I can’t bear that, I won’t.

 


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Boys

I fall in love

like my heart is a motel room

lover after lover takes up residence

and then leaves me with shattering pieces

 

I fall in love

for all the wrong reasons

because they are mean to me

I love that they don’t give a damn

because they are kind to me

I love that they care at all

I like the ones who don’t like me at all

and I like the ones who like me too much

 

I like mean boys, the dangerous ones

who don’t give me a second thought

they don’t care about my feelings

but god they make me feel alive

they’re adventure and risk

and all that this universe has to offer

and I’m a sucker for the great unknown

 

I like kind boys, the vanilla ones

I eat up their shreds of concern

like a hungry dog gobbles food

blue eyes blonde hair

I need a little good after all the bad

they heal me after the mean ones destroy me

I tell them everything

spill all my secrets out of open wounds

but eventually it gets boring

you can have only so much vanilla

before you want a taste of the devil’s chocolate

my plastered heart is ready for another round

 

 

I go back to the mean ones

on their motorbikes

with their black leather jackets

stopping by my motel

with charm and good looks

as their only payment for the night

at first it’s a schoolgirl’s crush

until it just gets worse

 

I don’t seem to know what’s good for me

or rather who’s good for me

I’ll never find a mean one who cares enough and

I’ll never find a kind one who’s dangerous enough

 

I’ll just be left with

my boys and my memories

ghosts at my lonely altar

no one to really call my own.

 


Originally posted on The Sehrish Thing

Please hit the like button if you enjoyed reading the poem and comment below with feedback, opinions etc. Also do go and check out my blog for more work like this 🙂

‘The Sehrish Thing’ by Sehrish Ahmed

I’m a poet and a writer and an optimist and just me. I see artworks in the clouds and messages in the seas. Love letters in the flowers and melodies in the rain.

I see the demons on our shoulders and the lights in our eyes. The glass is half-full unless it’s empty. The chicken could have come first, who cares anyways? The world can be a dark place so let’s light fires and watch them burn.

I’m random and impulsive, I do before I think. I’ll plant seeds in your garden, please open the gate. I love the flames and I love the cold, but sometimes I like the sun’s warmth on my toes. I like neon lights too, the stark contrast, fluorescent colours and pitch black.

Journey with me to my mind’s darkest crevices. I like to be cryptic, just humor me please. Maybe you’ll try to understand me in which case I’ll clap for your failed attempt, I’ll even write a poem if you cry for me. Yes, I have a soft-spot for crying humans, the way to my heart is definitely the salty H2O that your eyes so graciously produce.

Sometimes I like to pretend to be a person who’s not me. I’m not insecure, I’m not self-assured, are they lies? or are they the truth? I don’t know but never mind. I can choose to be who I want to be, the nice me or the mean me? the boring me or the exciting me? I change my personality like clothes everyday.

Again, I’m spouting horse-crap. Just stop reading already. But go read my poems, okay? Just follow the link below. And like them if you like them. Don’t be fake, please. And follow me too, it’s ambrosia for my soul.

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Ruinous Love

in retrospect

it was the worst time of my life

love is such a ruinous thing

it never …

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